Thinking it through

I know. I know. It's been a long, long time since I've posted anything really thoughtful on this blog. There are some reasons for that, among them a couple of personal bereavements that distracted me from anything too much, a set of commitments that really do take up my time, and a period of thoughtfulness about what my life is, what it should be, and where I go from here.More on that. In the meantime, though, I wanted to share a little about the difficulties that come with serving in public office. I'm not a politician, and I'm not a political appointee per se. But the position of Director of Cultural Affairs is a public position, and at times the thoughts or actions expected of the Director are not those that I actually hold.Now this is okay, most of the time. A lot of the time I'm privy to information that makes it okay, even if it's not easy to live with. I know what the struggles are that go on behind the scenes, and I know -- more than others may -- the good will that often goes along with those struggles. But every now and then I wonder what I would think if I didn't hold this office, if I wasn't in a position to know the backstage story.This video points to one of those things that I'm sure I would have a firm and unwavering opinion on if I weren't in my present position.[youtube]And then there's this:Art Lovers Blocked from Sacred SpaceI know what my opinion would be if I weren't in the seat I presently occupy. But -- as my grandmother was fond of saying (so much so that I thought it was alloneword until I was a teen) -- circumstances alter cases. And so the opinion I actually hold is different from the opinion that I'd hold if I weren't in this position.This is a rambling and awkward blog post, I know. There are things beneath the surface, things that can't be articulated right here and right now. But suffice it to say: I'm thinking it through.What it is is another story altogether.Cheers.